Thank you, Jo Brand, for not offering us a formula for growing older, writes Dr Denise Taylor. Plus a letter from Louise Mothersole
I found Jo Brand’s reflections on approaching 70 wonderfully refreshing (‘It’s far too late for me to go to the gym every 10 minutes’: Jo Brand on ageing, raging, fitness and grief, 2 November). Here is a woman who doesn’t feel obliged to turn ageing into another self-improvement project. She can be angry, grumpy, less adventurous than she once was, and still enjoy her life.
We hear so much about ageing well, ageing positively and ageing successfully. We are encouraged to exercise more, eat better, remain productive, find our purpose and keep reinventing ourselves. Much of this advice is well intentioned, but collectively it can make growing older seem like another job we are expected to perform.
As a 69-year-old psychologist who researches and writes about later life, I question this narrative. Of course, looking after our health matters. But ageing isn’t a competition, and we shouldn’t have to demonstrate that we’re making the most of every remaining year.
I was particularly struck by Brand’s comments about older women being treated as though they are all alike. We are as varied, contradictory and individual as we have ever been. Some of us want adventure; others want a quieter life. Some are still working, others are delighted to have left employment behind. And our feelings about ageing can change from one day to the next.
Perhaps what makes Brand’s interview so appealing is that she doesn’t offer us a formula for growing older. She simply describes her experience, with humour, honesty and a willingness to acknowledge what is difficult.
We need more of that. Less instruction on how to age successfully, and more freedom to grow older in our own way. Dr Denise Taylor Chartered psychologist and author of ThriveSpan
I would like to reassure Jo Brand that approaching 70 is certainly not too old to get fitter and healthier. My partner (aged 73) and I (64) were dedicated couch potatoes. Our evenings were spent with wine, cheese and chocolate. Neither of us had ever done any sport or fitness activity until April of this year when we began the Couch to 5K challenge.
We now run 5km three times a week, every week. We’re not quick (40 minutes) but we do it and feel so much better for it – so virtuous that my halo lights our evening runs. Louise Mothersole Bournemouth, Dorset
