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MAY THE 4-4 BE WITH YOU
Precisely 13,266 games have been played since the inception of the Premier League, and 19 of those matches have finished 4-4 (0.1%), a rarity in a division dominated by the mighty 1-0 (17.6%). It was about time we got one, though. The months of August and September, when teams are still fighting to define their top-flight seasons and fitness and motivation tend to be at their peak, have never seen a single 4-4 draw. As motivation decreases the chances of stupid scorelines increase, and that’s where the 4-4 creeps in. There’s a certain on-the-beachness inherent in the score, and it is no coincidence that it has occurred more in the second half of April, as thoughts drift to the close season and the ineffable pointlessness of a lot of late-campaign football becomes unavoidable, than in the entirety of any other month.
Though scoring four goals in a single game is quite encouraging, conceding four in the same one is suggestive of poor planning. Of the 22 clubs to have been involved in a Premier League 4-4, half are no longer in the Premier League at all. Only Manchester City in 2023-24 have played out a 4-4 draw and won the league in the same season, while six teams have recorded the scoreline and promptly gone down. It is an inherently unserious score, which duly attracts unserious teams. Manchester United, being as they were a very serious team for a long while after its creation, had won the Premier League 11 times before they were involved in one. When they drew 4-4 with Everton in late April (obviously) 2012 it was their first 4-4 draw since 1974. Sunday’s against Aston Villa was their second in a year.
The effect is obviously quite discombobulating. Fans at Old Trafford on Sunday, as United fell two goals down, recovered, fell two goals down again and recovered again, didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, boo, cheer, leave early or stay late and most chose a combination. “I thought we were by far the better team,” cooed Michael Carrick, the obviously nice guy currently being forced to find awkward ways of looking on the bright side in generally miserable post-match interviews. “They started, scored, then we played some very, very good football. We were the better team for large parts of the game. We’re making it difficult for ourselves with the goals we’re giving away.”
He may be on to something there. United have now conceded first in 80% of their home games this season, a figure only Crystal Palace, also the only team with fewer points than them, can match, and his team’s chances of success would probably improve if they stopped doing it. And then there’s Villa, new masters of this silly scoreline, the club who in 1995 were involved in the Premier League’s first ever 4-4 draw and have now also played in the most recent, in the process moving joint top of the all-time 4-4 charts. Inevitably the teams most likely to have secured many of these have tended to be both rubbish enough to go around drawing 4-4 and also not quite rubbish enough to also get relegated, bad enough to concede loads of goals yet also good enough to score quite a few. This does feel like prime Everton territory but it is Tottenham – who lead the all-time Premier League goal concession rankings – and Villa – still the only team to draw 4-4 twice in the same season, back in 2007-08 – who have more than anyone else. Their running tally of 4-4 draws? Why, 4-4, obviously.
RECOMMENDED VOTING
The FSA Awards are fast approaching folks and, though Football Daily has been cruelly overlooked yet again, Big Website has been nominated for a gong as well as Football Weekly, Women’s Football Weekly and Suzanne Wrack. If you want to show your support by casting a vote, you can here.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It is an unacceptable situation that the match cannot go ahead. That supporters are making football impossible is completely intolerable. In doing so, they harm their club, their team, the sport, and the thousands who do come for the football” – Dutch FA suits hit out after Vitesse’s Eerste Divisie match was called off because De Graafschap fans blocked their own team’s bus from leaving for the game. De Graafschap had announced that supporters had been barred from attending the match in Arnhem after groups failed to reach an agreement with authorities over a ticket allocation cut and other security measures. “We want to let the initial emotion subside and get a full picture of everything before we come with a further substantive response,” sighed De Graafschap.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Students, teachers and visitors at the University of Queensland can view the world’s longest-running experiment. The flamin’ pitch drop experiment began in 1930 and is designed to demonstrate how an apparent solid (pitch) behaves like an extremely viscous liquid. Nearly 100 years ago pitch was placed in a funnel and kept at room temperature. It moves incredibly slowly at a rate of approximately one atom per second (slower than the continental drift), and only nine drips have ever been recorded, though never witnessed. Without the need for intercontinental travel, perhaps other readers can now appreciate what it’s like to watch Arsenal win 1-0” – John Holtom.
All this talk of tear-away shirts (Football Daily letters passim) has, for some reason, ignored the fact that it is a rather old idea, already tried out in American football. Beginning in 1959 with the University of Texas Longhorns and made most famous perhaps by Cleveland Browns running back Greg Pruitt in the NFL, they were eventually outlawed in 1979” – Tom Schumacher.
I’m baffled by the recent adulation heaped on Velcro in these pages. When will people realise it’s a rip-off?” – Andy Korman.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day goes to … John Holtom. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
The latest Football Weekly podcast is out now and you can watch it too.
THE ROAD TO WEMBLEY
All aboard the bus to HA9 [it doesn’t quite have the postcode ring of Wimbledon – Football Daily Ed]! Rock bottom of the Football League and with an interim manager in Kevin Blackwell, Crawley Town might have viewed their FA Cup first-round tie at seventh-tier Wimborne Town as a way of building confidence, but they reached new lows after a 2-0 defeat in Dorset. With players trudging off the pitch and Wimborne’s part-timers waving banners that read “You’ve just been pecked by the Magpies”, Blackwell pulled no punches in his post-match presser. “We have neither [enough] technical or physical players, the options are limited off the bench,” bulldozed Blackwell, who replaced the sacked Colin Kazim-Richards last month. “Some of the technical side of the football, I’m really shocked with.” On march Wimborne, then, in the hat for the second-round draw for the first time in their history, with £79,500 in prize money on offer if they can repeat another giantkilling. We’ll join them there.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Crystal Palace are poised to sack Pierre Sage after a 3-1 defeat at home to Liverpool left them bottom of the Premier League for the first time since December 2017, with Thomas Frank looming in the near-distance.
Meanwhile, Liverpool keeper Alisson Becker wants the club to whack a new contract in front of him so he can autograph it. “My will is to stay. I’m happy here and my family is happy here,” he roared.
This year’s Golden Boy award has been won by Spain’s Pau Cubarsi, with Sweden forward Felicia Schröder taking the Golden Girl gong.
Fifa presidential candidate Kozo Tashima has got Gianni Infantino in his sights. “Selflessness is my motto,” tooted the Japan FA honorary president. “That’s what it means to be the head of Fifa.”
Real Oviedo’s new coach is … Raúl! “My way of understanding football is with respecting the talent [in the squad] but asking for unconditional effort,” cheered the former Spain and Madrid snaffler.
And call that a generational choke? This is a generational choke.
STILL WANT MORE?
A wave of antisocial behaviour is threatening non-league football. Paul MacInnes on the rise of the “schooligans”.
Gianni Infantino is caught in a web as the tide turns against Donald Trump and leaves Fifa exposed, writes Barney Ronay.
Sid Lowe on football coming together across Spain to honour Jesús de Miguel.
Roma and Lazio have both made unbeaten starts to Serie A, giving those in the capital dreams of a Scudetto, reports Nicky Bandini.
Felix Nmecha’s faith is forcing Dortmund into an uncomfortable debate, explains Andy Brassell, after his goal celebrations again came under scrutiny.
After being humiliated 9-1 by Como, Lens’ pain continued against Marseille. Luke Entwhistle on the latest in Ligue 1.
Will Unwin underlines why Diogo Dalot’s muddled displays are just another symptom of chaos at Manchester United.
And talking points, get your talking points. Premier League and Women’s Super League ones for your delectation.
MEMORY LANE
While comparisons with the past weigh more heavily than ever on the current Manchester United, it’s worth remembering that everything wasn’t always sweetness and light in the glory years. Twenty-six years ago this week, Roy Keane had the hump with the Old Trafford crowd after 66,776 had sat on their hands through a 1-0 Big Cup win over Dynamo Kyiv. “Away from home our fans are fantastic,” he sniffed, “but at home they have a few drinks and probably the prawn sandwiches, and they don’t realise what’s going on out on the pitch.” United may be unrecognisable now but Keane’s jibe has endured. He never actually used the term “prawn sandwich brigade” – the press came up with that – but it’s still the go-to phrase whenever Old Trafford falls quiet.
